All the Fun ©2021 by Bill Crozier
1. The Earth is Round
The shadow of Earth on the Moon
When eclipsed is a curve
No matter what time of night it occurs
The Earth is round (chorus)
No need to fear
The Earth is a ball
The Earth is a sphere
Eratosthenes knew when
He measured it true
And Ferdy Magellan
In 1522
(chorus)
Everything pulls on each other
From near to far
So the moon is round
And so are the stars
(chorus)
If it's a conspiracy
Who's taking part in the game?
Russia and China
Pilots of planes
All the ship captains
And all of their crew
It's everyone
Even me and you
(chorus)
2. Evolution
I know why
We're in each others faces
You and I
Fill up all the spaces
Evolution on the range
Rare mutation makes a change
(chorus)
I propose:
You found your thumbs opposed
Then you hooked up with a Mr. or a Ms.
And gave it to the kids
(instrumental, repeat)
3. Time
It's time to wake time
It's time to make time
It's time for break time
It's time for lunch
I need a shape bent
For my escapement
To see the weight sent
Give it a punch
Lathe and drill bit, save and build it
Get out the spill kit, it's just a hunch
I need a click stop, I'm a bit shocked
I got the tick tock, then heard it crunch
Wipe the frame, add the oil (chorus)
Say his name, Conan Doyle
Wind the chain or turn the coil
Start the train...
Try my new skill set, are we there yet?
Don't get your hair net all in a scrunch
That old coo-coo runs like a choo-choo
Like Rabbit Fru Fru, hey, thanks a bunch
(coo-coo, chorus)
4. All the Fun
I went to WalMart® before the storm
I didn't buy milk, I didn't buy bread
I picked up two tires 'cause my phone said
They were ready
The parking lot was full of cars
I parked on the left, in the back of the lot
I pushed a cart though the tires were not
All that heavy
Then I drove home to my own back yard
I fought with the tires, I rolled on the ground
While the air hose was all twisting around
Like spaghetti
“Hey, why don't you just pay to get the job done?” (chorus)
I answer, “why should they have all the fun?”
I brushed myself off, tried something new
I sealed it with a kiss, I let out a shout
If that didn't work I was about to get out
The machete
(chorus, first verse)
5. I'd Rather Believe
I listen to NPR even though it's fake
All the other services are cutting up the bait
I'd rather believe in a world that's fair
But it's manipulated by a hundred billionaires
Everyone is saying how badly they were shocked
I go up into my room and fix another clock
A string of Beetle Bailey symbols going in the can
As I make another gear, I could use another hand
My oscillating mind is like an elevator (chorus)
I only lost a single line, but I will find it later
If you work the line at Amazon, you're gonna get home late
Dream of Lucy Ricardo when America was great
They trick you from your money, they trick you from your fun
Is that any way for a company to run?
It had gone too far and it made me choke
When the People's Car started blowing smoke
Stop throwing stones, you can't be Captain Kirk
If you don't put down your phone and get back to work
(chorus)
It's hard to find the money to fix my aching back
Spending billions getting ready for the next attack
I'd rather believe in a world that's fair
But it's manipulated by a hundred billionaires
(chorus)
6. Two Horses
I like horses so much I thought I would make one
Straight legs with a strong back white and brown
I call 'im Old Paint
I know what he ain't
Never heard a complaint
When he helps me down
I like horses so much I thought I would make one
So I filed the teeth of my old saw blade
Pulled some nails, cut up old 2x4's
Pounding the nails
Watch out for the tail
It never fails
I want one more
So I filed the teeth of my old saw blade
Old Paint you just stepped out of the dumpster (chorus)
Ragged from the back up to the frontster
I never saw just one horse so I'll make the next one
I wanna see him standing by my old friend
Steady old mate
You'll never break
You got what it takes
To the very end
I never saw just one horse, I'll make the next one
(chorus, first verse)
7. Dance
I saw a sexy model on a poster in the store
I tried to speak to her in French
“Où est-ce que tu t'en va?” I asked her from the floor
Looks like you're going out to dance
I know what I expected, imagine my surprise
She said, “why don't you come along?”
I thought I'd get a verse, I thought I'd get a line
Or maybe just a title for the song
A song about a dance, a song about a trance (chorus)
A song about.. oh I don't even know
Pinch me, I'll awake, or maybe you should wait
I wanna see how far this will go
I answered her directly, not trying to be coy
I'm mortal and I'm liable to fall
After she laughed she said, “you're just a boy”
Then she pinned me up against the wall
I know what I expected, imagine my surprise
She said, “why don't you come along?”
I thought I'd get a verse, I thought I'd get a line
Or maybe just a title of a song
(chorus)
8. Time Line
The geologic time line really blows my my mind
Life begins 4 billion years ago-go
Midnight, 12 o'clock, the Earth a molten rock
Single cell appears at oh-four-oh-oh
Lave flow and geysers, photosynthesizers
Oh six hundred, sky is filled with air
At 1305, cells with nuclei
Four more hours till they start to share
Ice over the ocean, Cambrian explosion
1900 hours on the clock
2305, dinosaurs arrive
Pangea breaking watch for falling rock
Another quarter hour, before they smell the flowers
30 minutes dinosaurs are done
Animals with teats, we get up on two feets
By midnight we will all be gone
Author's notes on the 24 hour geologic clock:
photosynthesis starts at 5:30 am
first eukaryotes (cells with nulclei), 1 pm
first multicellular life at 5:30 pm
cambrian explosion, 9 pm
first land plants, 9:50 pm
fish, 10:07 pm
insects invade the land, 10:26pm
reptiles, 10:41 pm
dino arrives, 10:57
first flowers, 11:15pm
pangea breaks into Gondwana and Laurasia
dino leaves, 11:39
Gondwana breaks up
early mammals, 11:42
modern mammals, 11:49
hominids, 11:58
modern humans, 11:59:45
end of humans, 12 midnight
9. We're So Clever
We're not like the fish who say, “there's a castle!”
When we see the sun, we know it's the one
We saw yesterday
From this they derived amidst all the hassle
Our place in the sky, and before they died
They told everyone
If you know and don't tell, you're betraying your species
We need (you can bet) all the help we can get
Just to get by
It's a terrible game, a puzzle in pieces
Who gets the fame, who gets the blame
Who wins the bet?
We're so clever (chorus)
We'll all go together
Forever and ever
You know what I mean
We're hardly beginners
At losers and winners
Better harvest your dinner
Of rice and beans
They wrote it all down, and everyone scattered
I know what I read, respect for the dead
Don' t be so mean
How the planets align, what does it matter?
I stand in the field, I know it's real
It boggles my mind
(chorus)
We're not like the fish who say, “there's a castle!”
When we see the sun, we know it's the one
We saw yesterday
10. Little Jump
Words by Neil Armstrong, Charles Duke (CAPCOM)
Buzz, this is Houston
Buzz, this is Houston
'K, Neil, we can see you coming down the ladder now
OK, I just checked...uh...gettin' back up to that first step
It's...a...pretty good little jump
(Little jam in D)
I'm at the foot of the ladder
Very fine grain as you get close to it
It's very fine
I'm going to step off the LEM now...
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind
I can see the footprints of my... uh... boots and the treads in the fine sandy particles...
11. July 2019
There's a bowl of water on the porch
But the cat is on the car lapping up the dew
Don't know how I scared the little horse
But she took off down the course
And I got deja vu
Something makes me want to cry out when I see the moon (chorus)
I won't understand it till I write the tune
I recall, 50 years ago today
Three men sailed away
I saw it on the news
On my bike I look over to the right
Oh, what a sight
The waning gibbous moon
(chorus)
To win a race
We went out into space
Now a hobo holds a card
And a robo cuts the yard
(chorus)
You may understand
A woman or a man
But you're talking out your hat
If you understand your cat
(instrumental on chorus chords)
There's a bowl of water on the porch
But the cat is on the car lapping up the dew
12. Worry
You didn't call from the airport
Like you said you will
You could be robbed or kidnapped
You could be killed
I put my phone in my pocket
Like I never do
Maybe you called
And the pres-i-didn't let it through
Why don't you hurry? (chorus)
I know you can
I'm not one to worry
Oh wait, yes I am
I start to wonder
If you got there at all
Did you fall into the ocean?
That's why you didn't call
(solo)
Why don't you hurry?
I'm waiting for you
You don't know how I worry
Oh, wait, yes you do
(first verse, chorus)
13. Eyes
I'd like to know (chorus)
Who gets to tell me what I see, what I see?
I left her with her eyes closed
Now she won't be
Able to see
Till I turn on the TV
You look into my eyes 'cause
You're the doctor
I don't need a proctor
I'd like to know
Who could tell me what I see, what I see?
The stalker found her selfie
He spied
Into her eyes
Found her in her hi-rise
I'd like to know
Who should show me what I see, what I see?
I shape the world around me
As sparks fly
They always try
To get into my eyes
I'd like to know
Who will show me what I see, what I see?
14. Cranky Old Beast
He sits and stares with foggy eyes, he creaks when he gets up
He rattles like marbles in an old tin cup
I try to pull the manifold, the bolts bend and snap
It's just a normal day as I try to get him back
I dropped the greasy oil pan, pulled the dirty screen
I zapped it once, zapped it twice trying not to scream
I fought the crank pulley after lining up the marks
I changed out the oil pump, well, that's the easy part!
It's a renovation (chorus)
Of the cranky old beast
Or it's an education
For a monkey in the grease
I sprayed it down with this and that according to the books
There's no other way to reach the crannies and the nooks
Put in a shiny water pump, doing what they said
I only hope I won't have to get another head
(repeat chorus)
He sits and stares with foggy eyes, he creaks when he gets up
He rattles like marbles in an old tin cup
I got a bolt left over, I'll just throw it in the rack
It's just a normal day as I try to get him back
(chorus)